This is too damn long – the three little piggies story I mean

MonarchoftheLOT

This is the Monarch of the lot. I spotted it this morning, and its not my fault  it decided to sit sideways on a twig.  If it upsets you copy it, and rotate it 90º right. Its presence shows we are doing our bit to maintain the environment.

BUT::::  time now for serious social comment.

(The text was imported and can’t be edited for style – least not that I can find)

The Three Little Piggies – in Suburbia

Almost every day

In another Universe,

Just down the street

and around the corner,

on an empty lot,

three little pigs

are trying to live,

without Social Assistance.

Daddy Pig went to market,

made personal appearances

in many households!

But he never came back.

Mummy Pig promoted herself

to get a job in T V.

She appears almost every night

And likes Sesame buns and Kermit.

So the three little piggies

ran away to an empty lot,

and tried to build a house,

and eat healthy food

            (apart from stale Sesame buns that Mummy sent by Canada Post).

A few blocks away

In a shabby shed

at the back of an old orchard

Lived a Big Bad Wolf.

He went to Law School,

Ate the professor, and

was thrown out.

Instead he watched reality shows

On a Black and white  TV

with no shades of grey.

It warped his morality

and he became a con man.

He found a book

on “Demolishing Buildings.”

He went for a walk

To find a building.

Meanwhile –

The three little pigs bought

“Houses of Straw,”

From the Ministry of

Natural Resources (MNR).

They went to Pig Depot

and carried home

bales of straw and

bags of pre-made Mud.

The wolf watched them

build their home,

through his telescope,

from the corner of the block.

He did not want their house

He wanted their lot.

He worked out a scheme

to get it for himself.

Watching the three little pigs

Build their straw house

He missed the Tornado warning

on the TV in his shed.

He did not notice,

the sky grow dark,

the tall trees waving,

Or dust devils in the street.

As the little pigs finished,

Wolf sidled up

with his hat tilted down,

to look official, and hide his face.

“Housing Inspector” he said

Waving a rolled-up paper.

“Need to test the mud

For inflammability!”

The piglets were very scared

by such a big word!

He lit a match

To test the mud

As he knelt to light the straw

A dirty dust devil flew by,

Got up his nose

And blew out his match!

“I’m going to BulATissshhhhhhYooooooooo

“your house DoisssshhhhhhhYOOOOOO

He tried to say

As the Tornado whisked him away …….

And blew the house down.

The three little pigs

took shelter in the

“Pork Barrel” – next to City Hall.

They waited for the

“Gravy Train”. They heard

It came every day,

To City Hall.

But it never came!

So they went to MNR

and bought a book:

“Building Wooden houses”.

The wolf was banged

on the head

and blown out of town

by the tornado.

When he woke up

He was quite sure

that HE had BLOWN 

THE HOUSE DOWN

The piglets went to BIG PIG  DEPOT

and bought the wood,

to build the house

on their big empty lot.

They built and they built

and they built the house up.

In no time at all,

they finished the house.

Wolf crawled out 

of a grubby oil drum,

bandaged his head,

and found a crutch.

He shuffled round to see

the three little pigs

AND their new house

On the lot he wanted.

(He wanted it a lot)

It looked big and very strong

But he knew he could

BLOW the HOUSE DOWN

Just like he did before.

He put on a black armband,

and a red cross on his hat,

pulled over his eyes.

He hobbled along!

“Structural safety & health check”

Wolf muttered.

Look what happened 

at the last house!

The scared piglets let him in.

Wolf stamped on the floor

And blew as hard as he could.

The house shook back and forth.

“Gotta check the foundations”

He said as he blew.

Still the house shook,

As he blew himself blue!

Sirens were ringing with

“Earthquake alarm”

The piglets ran out but

Wolf was still blowing

He was puffing and blowing

So hard the floor shivered

and slithered his paws

down the basement stairs.

The shaking got worse!

So he knew he could do it

He blew out so hard

He got dizzy and fell

AGAIN & AGAIN

Down a hole in the ground!

Round, deep and narrow

And filled with no sound!

Wolfie got wedged 

and yelped out for 

HELP

HELP

“The piglets looked down,

They called nine eleven

But nobody heard,

For there wasn’t a phone.

They threw him some bones

and water to drink

But he squirmed and he moaned

His spirits did sink.

He was rescued by firemen

with ladders and rope

Tied to a stretcher

His health beyond hope

He went to a care home

for indigent wolves.

The three little piglets

Would visit him there

They took him some soup

and a sweet teddy bear

But all he would say, was,

I’ll BLOW your house down.

The three little piglets

Got insurance money,

And built a brick house

Tall, red and strong.

They took Wolf a picture,

and some LEGO from town.

But all he would say, – was

I’ll BLOW your house down.

Every night in his dreams

he blew the house down

and watched as

the three little pigs

Built it back up,

again  and  again.

He dozed and he snored

his whole life away

and faded away

to a bundle of fur . . . . 

In their own little Universe

just round the bend,

The three little pigs

as everyone knows,

knew all about how,

and where the wind blows.

AND

well they

LIVED FOREVER 

As you ALL know !

And the big bad wolf? ……    WELL

After his death

His very last breath ?

He was charged

with many more crimes …..

….. for those terrible rhymes.

THANKFULLY, the END

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