I had to fire the builder. So-called builder.


“I want your Nuts !!”

I’d had to go and feed my habituated squirrels (see above), and when I got back he’d made no progress at all. He even seemed angry. My instructions had been very clear – I need an “up” staircase, it didn’t need to be descendable. Besides, I was trying to keep the project on budget, and I was using a fireman’s pole to get down from the loft level. So, there was no need for a down staircase. If there wasn’t a need, why pay for it?

But he wouldn’t see sense, and I think he was just incompetent. I can’t be the first person wanting a one-way staircase, after all – why were escalators invented otherwise?

My little retreat is carefully planned, but now I’ll have to devise my own up-staircase. I’m thinking that a small trampoline will serve. I can bounce through a hole in the ceiling and catch a trapeze. Then its down the back corridor to the overhanging bog that drops into the solar heater before its dried contents slip into the furnace. Another neat refinement upstairs is to have gaps in the floor boards to brush the dust down below, in carefully selected spots.

C u


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