Eggz is us

When I was a kid I’d go to a neighbouring farm to collect the eggs for my Mum. We got either the ones too small for the commercial market (Mum used these for baking), Eggs    or those too big – double yokers (for eating). I recall the colour of those egg yolks now –  and anyone who buys eggs at super market groceries will likely have no idea what a real farm fresh egg yolk should look like. No prizes for guessing which is which! And these shop eggs are brighter than most.

In those days if you were an all round good guy – you’d be called a “good egg”. Which reminds me that we kept geese. The original plan had been to fatten them for Christmas dinner – but the three my Dad bought at a farmer’s auction soon became – ‘pets’ – if slightly noisy and somewhat ferocious pets. So we let them have goslings, sold those off when they’d grown up by December, and then bought in a goose for Christmas.

On occasion Mum would use goose eggs in her cooking – on my Dad’s birthday one year she served one up at tea time boiled, placed in a teacup, and with a small hacksaw for him to open it!

But to get back to good eggs, one year the geese were sitting on their eggs and the goslings hatched – all apart from one. Mum was worried (as only Mums can worry) that the youngster was too weak to get out of it’s shell. She despatched Dad to his garden shed with the egg for exploration and rescue. No longer after a great roar engulfed the garden and Dad flew out holding his nose. His exploratory tapping caused the egg to explode – and the sulphurous door of a rotten goose egg sprayed him and pervaded that shed for weeks.

Another egg saying we had was: “Go teach your Grandma to suck eggs”. This was used if you were being told stuff you obviously knew. Back then it wasn’t illegal to collect bird’s eggs – most kids had a collection. The main need was to extract the contents – which was done through small holes pricked at either end. The assumption of the saying was that your Grandma herself did it decades ago ….

Anyway, when I get regaled with superfluous information – I respond with “which of your two long dead Grannies shall I dig up and teach to suck eggs?”

Anyway – in Ontario – look out for Rowe Eggs if you want the real McCoy. Your meals will cease to look anaemic. (The Cock-a Doodle-Do Cackle, cackle cackle cartoon was inspired by the picture above.)

cu in the woodshed

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