President’s No Choice @ SUPERSTORE

There is a creeping invasion at the Not So Great Canadian Superstore. Over the months, favourite items vanish – and are replaced with pale imitations of the not the “same” item.

I first noticed this trend with Jane’s Frozen Haddock, freshly caught in the North Sea (that’s the rough bit between England and Scandinavia where they kicked out the fish and used it to grow Oil Rigs. But the fish have snuk back in). As the weekly shop went by, the space allotted to Jane shrunk, and a pseudo item would creep closer, stamped as authoritatively with PC, as the bottom of the aforesaid North Sea was stamped by my mesolithic ancestors (and whose daily detritus still snag’s fishermen’s nets, if there are any fish left to fish for.)

And then – as the Nursery Rhymes have it – there were none. The pseudo tastes nothing like the original – smaller and thinner filets. The same thing happened in the “Organic Food section” from where my favourite UK ‘Chips’ (Crisps to come-overs) vanished in a similar manner. The same undercover action is possibly affecting Pedigree Pal dog food, and Pepperidge Farm biscuits.

Sobey’s here we come – lets hope its not an infectious disease amongst grocer’s – but I wouldn’t be too sure. There may be big DIY columns in The Daily Grocer about the ploy.

Oh and that “Organic” section! – are we to take it that the rest of the store has everything made of ground vinyl and granulated bricks rescued from building sites? That’s a lot easier to believe.

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